GREAT HOLLYWOOD

MOVIE QUOTES:

Attack of the Fifty-Foot Woman (1993)

Belle of the Nineties (1934)

Black Cat, The (1934)

Black Cat, The (1941)

Cat and the Canary, The (1939)

Death Takes a Holiday (1934)

Dinner at Eight (1933)

Forty-Second Street (1933)

Ghost Breakers, The (1940)

I’m No Angel (1933)

Mad Miss Manton, The (1938)

Mae West’s Movies

Major and the Minor, The (1942)

Maltese Falcon, The (1941)

Mystery of the Wax, The (1933)

Night After Night (1932)

She Done Him Wrong (1933)

Son of Frankenstein, The (1939)

Stage Door (1937)

Them! (1954)

The Women (1939)

ATTACK OF THE 50-FOOT WOMAN (1993):

NANCY ARCHER (Daryl Hannah):  Think about it, Harry. . . .  Love on the scale of Gulliver.

HARRY ARCHER (Daniel Baldwin):  What do you expect me to do?  Get a wet suit and a flashlight?

BELLE OF THE NINTIES (1934):

WARDROBE LADY TO RUBY CARTER (Mae West):  You certainly know the way to a man’s heart.

RUBY CARTER:  Ah, funny too, ‘cause I can’t cook.

ACE LAMONT (John Miljan):  Great town, St. Louis.  You were born there?

RUBY CARTER:  Yes.

ACE LAMONT:  What part?

RUBY CARTER:  Why, all of me.

BLACK CAT, THE (1934):

DR. VITUS VERDEGAST (Bela Lugosi to David Manners as Peter Allen): Superstition, perhaps; baloney, perhaps not.

BLACK CAT, THE (1941):

MR. PENNY (Hugh Herbert):   That House is Doubly Blest

                                                       Which to Our Feline

       Friends Gives Rest.

HUBERT SMITH (Broderick Crawford):  Her Hats Are Full of Bats

                                                                          For Spending All Her

                                                                          Dough on Cats!

SMITH:  That’s the crematory for the cats. . . .  Everything’s here for the cats. . . .  That’s why it’s going to the dogs.

RICHARD HARTLEY (Alan Ladd about Smith [Crawford]):  Two more brains and he’d be a halfwit.

SMITH (about Hartley [Basil Rathbbone]):  He thinks he’s Sherlock Holmes!

CAT AND THE CANARY, THE (1939):

WALLY CAMPBELL (Bob Hope):  Let’s drink gin and make wry faces.

WALLY CAMBELL:  I’m so scared, even my goose pimples have goose pimples.

CECILY (Nadia Westman):   Don’t big empty houses scare you?

WALLY CAMPBELL:  Not me, I used to be in vaudeville.

CICILY:  Do you believe people come back from the dead?

WALLY CAMPBELL:  You mean like Republicans?

MISS LU (Gale Sondergaard):  There are spirits all around you.

WALLY CAMPBELL:  Well, could you put some in a glass with a little ice?  I need it badly.

DINNER AT EIGHT (1933):

CARLOTTA VANCE (Marie Dressler):  IF there’s one thing I know, it’s men.  I ought to.  It’s been my life’s worth.

MILLICENT JORDAN (Billie Burke):  You’re joking!  Ask that common little woman to the house with that noisy, vulgar man?  He smells Oklahoma.

KITTY (Jean Harlow):  I’m going to be a lady if it kills me.

KITTY:  I was reading a book the other day.

CARLOTTA:  Reading a book?

KITTY:  Yes. It’s all about civilization or something.  A nutty kind of a book.  Do you know that the guy says that machinery is going to take the place o f every profession?

CARLOTTA (looking Kitty up and down and taking her arm):  Oh, my dear, that’s something you need never worry about.

42^nd STREET (1933):

ANDY LEE (George E. Stone - referring to Anytime Annie [Ginger Rogers]):  She only said “no” once and that was only because she didn’t hear the question.

GHOST BREAKERS, THE (1940):

ALEX (Willie Best):  I’m the old family detainer.

GEOFF MONTGOMERY (Richard Carlson):  A zombie has no will of his own.  You see them sometimes walking around blindly with dead eyes, following orders, not knowing what they do, not caring.

LARRY LAWRENCE (Bob Home):  You mean like Democrats.

LARRY LAWRENCE:  Lovely party the Vice President is giving.  Good old Vice.

LARRY LAWRENCE:  The girls call me Pilgrim because every time I dance with one I make a little progress.

LARRY LAWRENCE:  Pardon me, am I protruding?

PARADA (Paul Lukas):  Are you the one advising Miss Carter to sell the castle?

LARRY LAWRENCE:  No, my advice is to keep the castle and sell the ghosts.

PARADA:  I myself have heard of only one ghost:  the spirit of Don Santiago.

LARRY LAWRENCE:  Tell me, does he appear nightly or just Sundays and Holidays?

LARRY LAWRENCE:  I’m sorry.  I must have a frog in my throat.

ALEX:  Better than a knife in it.

I’M NO ANGEL (1933):

JIM CLAYTON (Cary Grant):  You were wonderful tonight.

TIRA (Mae West):  I’m always wonderful at night.

JIM CLAYTON:  Tonight, you were especially good.

TIRA:  When I’m good, I’m very good; but when I’m bad, I’m better.

TIRA:  What do you do for a living?

RICH GUY:  I’m a politician.

TIRA:  I don’t like to work either.

JIM CLAYTON:  Oh, I’m crazy about you.

Tira:  I did my best to make you that way.

Jim Clayton:  Look, darling, you need a rest and so do I.  Let me take you away somewhere, we’ll—

Tira:  Would you call that a rest?

Jim Clayton:  What are you thinking about?

Tira:  Same thing you are.

TIRA:  Beulah, peel me a grape.

TIRA:  It’s not the men in your life that counts, it’s the life in your man.

MAD MISS MANTON, THE (1938):

LT. MIKE BRENT (Sam Levene):  Look, lady, it’s been ten minutes since you called us.  The murderer, that is if there is a murder, could be in Brooklyn by now – that is if anybody wanted to be in Brooklyn.

MELSA MANTON (Barbara Stanwyck):  Helen, you search the upstairs.

HELEN FRAYNE (Frances Mercer):  Oh, no!  I was never much of a individualist.  If the upstairs  has to be searched, we’ll do it together.

DORA FENTON (Catherine O’Quinn):  Why, that’s communism!

DORA FENTON:  You know, psychiatrists say hate’s just a step away from love.

HELEN FRAYNE:  Yeah, but it’s the lull in between that drives you crazy.        

THE MAJOR AND THE MINOR (1942):

MR. OSBORNE (Robert Benchley):  Why don’t you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini.

THE MALTESE FALCON (1941):

BRIGID O’SHAUGHNESSY (Mary Astor):  I haven’t lived a good life.  I’ve been bad, worse than you could know.

SAM SPADE (Humphrey Bogart):  You know, that’s good, because if you actually were as innocent as you pretend to be, we’d never get anywhere.

SAM SPADE:  We didn’t believe your story, Mrs. O’Shaughnessy, we believed your 200 dollars.  I mean you paid us more than if you had been telling us the truth, and enough more to make it alright.

SAM SPADE:  My guess might be excellent or it might be crummy, but Mrs. Spade didn’t raise any children dippy enough to make guesses in front of a district attorney, and an assistant district attorney, and a stenographer.

JOEL CAIRO (Peter Lorre):  You always have a very smooth explanation . . .

SAM SPADE:  What do you want me to do, learn to stutter?

SAM SPADE (to Bridgid O’Shaughnassy):  You’re good.  You’re very good.

DETECTIVE TOM POLHOUSE (Ward Bond – picking up the falcon):  Heavy.  What is it?

SAM SPADE:  The, uh, stuff that dreams are made of.

THE MAN WHO CAME TO DINNER (1942):

SHERIDAN WHITEHEAD (Monte Wooley):  Banjo, my lad, you’re wonderful.  I may write a book about you.

BANJO (Jimmy Durante):  Don’t bother, I can’t read!

SHERIDAN WHITEHEAD:  Gentlemen, will you all now leave quietly, or shall I ask Miss Cutler [Bette Davis] to pass among you with a baseball bat?

SHERIDAN WHITEHEAD (to Nurse Preen [Mary Wickes]):  My Great-Aunt Jennifer ate a whole box of candy everyday of her life.  She lived to be 102, and when she had been dead three days, she looked better than you do now.

NURSE PREEN (Mary Wickes):  I am not only walking out on this case, Mr. Whiteside, I am leaving the nursing profession. I became a nurse because all my life, ever since I was a little girl, I was filled with the idea of serving a suffering humanity.  After one month with you, Mr. Whiteside, I am going to work in a munitions factory.  From now on, anything I can do to help exterminate the human race will fill me with the greatest of pleasure.  If Florence Nightingale had ever nursed YOU, Mr. Whitehead, she would have married Jack the ripper instead of founding the Red Cross!

MAGGIE CUTLER (Bette Davis):  You know, Sheridan, you have one great advantage over everyone else in the world.  You’ve never had to meet Sheridan Whitehead.

SHERIDAN WHITEHEAD:  Strange?  She’s right out of The Hound of the Baskervilles.

MYSTERY OF THE WAX MUSEUM, THE (1933):

FLORENCE (Glenda Farrell):  Okay, brother, then you can go some nice warm place, and I don’t mean California.

WINTON (Gavin Gordon):  I’ve known you twenty-four hours, but I’m in love with you.

FLORENCE:  Doesn’t usually take that long.

FLORENCE:  I don’t know WHAT he was, but he made Frankenstein look like a lily!

JIM (Frank McHugh)[Hearing a raspberry from Florence over the telephone):  A cow does that and gives milk besides.

NIGHT AFTER NIGHT (1932):

[Mae West’s first movie where a hat check girl takes one look at her jewelry and says, Oh, my goodness!]

Goodness had nothing to do with it!

SHE DONE HIM WRONG (1933):

LADY LU (Mae West):  Hello there, warm, dark and handsome.

LADY LU:  Why don’t you come up some time and see me?

LADY LU:  Diamonds is my career.

LADY LU:  It was a toss up between whether I go in for diamonds or sing in the choir.  The choir lost.

LADY LU:  When women go wrong, men go after them.

CAPTAIN CUMMINGS (Cary Grant):  Haven’t you ever met a man who could make you happy?

LADY LU:  Sure, lots of times.

SON OF FRANKENSTEIN, THE (1939):

Maid:  It’s an old superstition.  When the house is filled with dread, place the beds at head to head.

YGOR (Bela Lugosi, about the Frankenstein Monster):  He’s my friend.  He . . . does things for me.”

STAGE DOOR (1937):

JEAN MAITLAND (Ginger Rogers):  Hey, you’re not gonna catch the opening tonight, huh?

EVE (Eve Arden):  No, I’m going tomorrow and catch the closing.

EVE:  Well, I don’t like to gossip, but that new gal seems to have an awful crush on Shakespeare!
SUSAN (Peggy O’Donnell):  I wouldn’t be surprised if they get married!
MARY LOU (Margaret Early):  Oh, you’re foolin’!  Shakespeare’s dead.

MADELINE (Jan Wiley):  No!

MARY LOU:  Well, if he’s the same on that wrote Hamlet, he is.

EVE:  Never heard of it.

MARY LOU:  Well, certainly you must have heard of Hamlet.

EVE:  Well, I meet so many people.

TERRY RANDALL (Katharine Hepburn):  The calla lilies are in bloom again.  Such a strange flower, suitable to any occasion.  I carried them on my wedding day and now I place them here in memory of something that has died.

TERRY RANDALL:  I see that, in addition to your charms, you have that insolence generated by an inferior upbringing.

JEAN MAITLAND:  Hmm!  Fancy clothes, fancy language and everything!

TERRY RANDALL:  Unfortunately, I learned to speak English correctly.

JEAN MAITLAND:  That won’t be of much use to you here.  We all talk pig latin.

JEAN MAITLAND:  We started off on the wrong foot.  Let’s stay that way.

JEAN MAITLAND:  When I get back to my room, you’re the only thing I want to find missing.

JUDY CANFIELD (Lucille Ball):  Do you want a date?

JEAN MAITLAND:  To some other lumberman?

JUDY CANFIELD:  Am I supposed to apologize for being born in Seattle?

JEAN MAITLAND:  Well, the last couple we went stepping with were made of lumber.  Especially their feet.

JUDY CANFIELD:  All right, all right, you can stay here and gorge yourself on lamb stew again.

TERRY RANDALL:  How many doors are there to this place?

JEAN MAITLAND:  Well, there’s the trap door, the humidor, and the cuspidor.  How many doors would you like?

LINDA SHAW (Gail Patrick):  If you were a little more considerate of your elders, maybe Mr. Powell would send his car for you someday.  Of course, he would probably take one look at you and send you right back again, but then you have to expect that.

JEAN MAITLAND:  Is that so?

LINDA SHAW:  Do you know, I think I could fix you up with Mr. Powell’s chauffeur.  The chauffeur has a very nice car, too.

JEAN MAITLAND:  Yes, but I understand that Mr. Powell’s chauffeur doesn’t go as far in his car as Mr. Powell does.

JEAN MAITLAND:  Do you mind if I ask a personal question?

TERRY RANDALL:  Another one?

JEAN MAITLAND:  Are those trunks full of bodies?

TERRY RANDALL:  Just those, but I don’t intend to unpack them.

JEAN MAITLAND:  Hey, that’s a kind of good-lookin’ piece of jackrabbit you got there.

LINDA SHAW:  Oh, it’s just a little trinket my “Aunt Susan” sent over.

JEAN MAITLAND:  Say, I think it’s very unselfish of those little animals to give up their lives to keep other animals warn.

LINDA SHAW:  You know, they’re very smart little animals.  They never give up their loves for the wrong people.

JEAN MAITLAND:  Well, you understand the rodent family much better than I do.

THEM!:

ROBERT GRAHAM (James Arness – after the ant nest has been saturated with cyanide):  Boy, if I can still raise an arm when we get out of this place, I’m gonna show you how saturated I can get.

[DR. PATRICIA MEDFORD (Joan Weldon) Observes that the walls of the ant nest are lined with saliva]

BEN PETERSON (James Whitmore):  Spit’s all that’s holding me together, too.

                                  THE WOMEN:

COUNTESS DE LAVE (Mary Boland):  Get me a bromide . . . and put some gin in it.